How do we change?

True Identity

Throughout childhood and the pressures in our environment, we can lose sight of who we really are because of the need to find love and attachment in security.

This book is not about how to diet, it is about recognising your own needs. Needs that possibly have never been met for most of your life.

I have proclaimed all along that the way forward is to know yourself and then you can find a different way of being. It is important to look at some negative aspects of your own personality, that way you will be able to take charge of what you do, how you relate to others and become more aware of how you think and feel. Self awareness is the first step on this journey.

Are you a suspicious person? Are you withdrawn and secretive? Highly emotional, dependent, rebellious or are you a perfectionist? If so then you need to look at how to change.

You will find more about this in the book to be released soon.

My methodology is all to do with learning to like and love yourself, being patient and attentive to the part of you that has been so neglected and suppressed by your focus upon food. You have to learn how to give yourself first class care rather than second hand rubbish. You need to change some aspects of your personality that are inhibiting you loving yourself more.

Making sense of the world

Throughout our lives we learn to prove or show ourselves in a variety of ways. We demonstrate existence through what we see, touch, hear and feel. We make sense of the world by making it material, by making it solid and trying to find ways to balance things that are not always stable. Unconsciously we build a frame of reference upon which to live life and, until we find that inner true self we are merely performers on a stage, unreal like cardboard cutouts living life in a shop window, seeing ourselves through another's eyes, trying to please and never knowing what is right or wrong, rarely being truthful. How we sit, stand, look and speak will be on our minds. We are on guard, too often fearful of rejection by others, of offending people we care about, worried about making mistakes, being found out, caught in guilt and shamed.

Each person may be tangled in the belief that the world happens to us, that life is out of control. The word 'fate' holds such mysterious connotations and by using it we can hand responsibility for ourselves and our destiny over to this mysterious phenomenon. How we can change is to be true to ourselves, give up the fear and find strength in being honest with ouselves. In this way we can be more truthful with others.

• Where did you lose sight of yourself as a child?
• How did you learn to get your needs met?
• How do you get your needs met now?
• Do you find it easy to say no to those you love?

Remember

When dealing with a food issue you are on a journey of self love, self acceptance and self discovery. This is no easy task and to begin it you must keep a diary and in it be completly honest with yourself. You must also begin to be more honest with others and make yourself as important as they are. You will need to take yourself into consideration whenever dealing with other people in your life. This does not mean ignoring or pushing people away it merely means being kind to you whilst also being kind and compassionate around those you love. In everything you do within your relationships you will need to ask yourself this question 'what do I really want?'

When I say I love you I am saying

You are important to me

You matter to me

I feel compassion for you

I feel empathy towards you

I understand and accept you

I let you go freely

Try saying this about you and see how it makes you feel?

Think about it, how can you love others honestly if you do not love yourself?

Loving yourself will give you the start to managing your food issue more easily.